slip me inside of your heart...

Latest Groundbreaking News

2008-02-14T06:09:37Z

Ok. Apparently, I have just extended another 2 weeks. At this rate, i'm never going to get to quit.

So much for all the hype and tearful goodbyes, and farewell lunch and well wishe for the future.

Thank goodness I haven't sent out that "Thank you for all your support" email. =/

ROAR.

ROAR ROAR ROAR.

Last day

2008-02-14T03:23:05Z

After months and months of procrastinating, I have finally reached my last day of work at IBM.

FAQ
Q1: How long have you been working at IBM?
Ans: About 2.5 years. Since Aug 2005

Q2: So why did you decide to leave IBM?
Ans: It's been 2.5 years. Other possible answers include "last year of my degree", and "I just need to take a break and think about what i want to do with my life".

Q3: So what are you going to do now?
Ans: I dunnoe. *shrug* Can also put in "live off papa", or "concentrate on getting my degree since it is my final year". (Really depends on who i'm talking to and how flippant I want to appear)

For the past few weeks i have answered the above 3 questions maybe about 200 times. So yes. There it is. Well thought out and fully explored.

Last days are always 30% SAD and 70% HAPPY. I guess as much as i bitch about my job, i'm never going to find another job like this that is so easy, flexible and with very decent pay. But then again, this is not neccesarily a bad thing. It's never good to be too comfortable or to stay in once place for too long.

I'm going to miss my workstation, and my friends / colleagues.

salt_water @ 2007-11-05T20:59:00

2007-11-05T13:03:58Z

I'm having one my my "I REALLY REALLY REALLY MUST HAVE IT" moments. The last time it happened, it was with this Casio watch that was island wide out of stock ( I literally looked all over the island), and before that it was with this Guess bag that cost me $150, which i dont really use anymore, but it's nice to have anyway.

Anyway, my object of lust at the moment is the Nintento Wii (Weeeee~!). It costs about $650 for a local set (unmodded) with 2 free games. So bloody expensive. I've trawled simlim and the best i can do it $500. Still not sure if i am actually willing to spend that kind of money on a console. Actually what's holding me back is that i'm afraid after i blow the moolahs, i'll get bored after 3 mths.

I've been on Yahoo! auctions too... Thre's this brand new set going for $230... But if it's too good to be true, it probably is. Oh well.

But i really REALLY REALLy want it. I'm being a brat, i know, but I REALLY REALLY WANT IT.

BRAH. ok i go play my chicken game to distract myself. Bye.

Shitfaced

2007-10-19T06:10:24Z

I'm surprised people are still visiting my blog despite the very long hiatus.

Thank you for your continued support and i will strive to do better.

I went on a wine binge last night and am still suffering from the after-effects. My intestines, bowels and everything else feels woooozy. I want to go hooooomeeeee.

Post Break-up

2007-10-18T02:51:42Z

No I haven't broken up.

But somehow seem to be listening to break-up songs every where I go. Especially this one... Simply Red - So Not Over You. (Jem... If you're reading this go listen to it).

Anyway, its kinda put me in a strange mood to remember how heartbreak feels.

It's a weird time... I dont know about you, but I remember how it made me feel. Like I was hovering somewhere between being dead and alive. Wondering why your heart and guts feels like they're being squeezed and wrenched, that burst of emotion everytime you think about the bittersweet memories. And how is it that you're in so much pain and feel so numb, and yet you've never felt more alive before.

Maybe that's where the addiction to pain kicks in. If you lose the pain, what are you left with? To move on, and to stop the pain, yet if you do, then there's..... Nothing. Just nothing.

.... Distraction.... Memories permeating your senses and sobering you when you least expect it, that influx of emotion and it seems, heightening of your senses.

The roller-coaster ride of it all.

Neurosis

2007-10-18T01:52:44Z

I have thunder thighs and a lard arse, manly shoulders and a tummy that's bigger than my boobs. This is officially depressing.

-- Cover up.

I'm now advertising for people to go for aerobics with me. Please call me on my mobile if you're interested. Thank you.
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All I want for my birthday is to lose some weight.... Meiqi... Lend my a couple of worms can?

weee

2007-10-17T02:47:59Z

i'm not dead but my blog certainly is.

I have nothing juicy to update.

I am moving to siglap temporarily for 3 mths as my current place will be under reno.

That's about all the juicyness in my life.

Not Dead

2007-06-20T03:53:12Z

Do you know... It's been more than a month since my last update. Where are all my days going?? Why are they slipping past me faster than i can imagine? Q3's coming (already).

Bro's back from Eindhoven. It's good..he has really ugly hair but i'm sure he has other things on his mind. Other than that fact that i have no more carcar and am trying to readjust agn... I can't really complain. It's nice to have the whole family back... Actually it kinda feels like he never left.

Life's boring and i'm uninspired. I want to buy a console.... Leaning towards the wii... Roy's leaning towards the PS2. Can someone tell me more (price, bundle, games etc.) ? I'm clueless in this world of virtual games. The wii looks like good exercise though.

Bought a pair of pants from G2000 the other day.. I never used to be able to fit into any of their clothes... It's either the cutting improved, or i have finally succumed to the LARD ARSE phenomena. Tends to happen to girls who spend too much time sitting around on their backsides, with only fingers and eyes moving. The arse then grows to epic and horrific proportions. OMG.

Time to jian fei.

eh no.. Actually it's time for lunch. I shall end this very useless rant here and continue growing my lard arse. Toodles~!

Something Weird

2007-05-16T05:57:55Z

I'm so SLEEPY today. I know i say this everyday of my life but really. Slept at 5.30, woke up for work this morning but not before i said some rubbish to Lydia who always gives me a wake up call.

I was reading one of those survey thingies.. And there was this qn, What's one thing weird about you? And i think the weird thing about me is that i talk in my sleep, much to the immense amusement of my (very evil and sadistic) boyfriend. And i do this quite often, especially when u ask me something when i'm sleeping. So i'm not actually sleeping, i'm hovering somewhere between sleep and wake and whatever i'm dreaming about feels like reality. For example:

Scenario 1
Me: *Sleeping*
Royston: "Darling, where's the giraffe?"
Me: "In my car"
Royston: "okay...then where's the zebra?"
Me: "In my pocket"
Royston: *starts laughing uncontrollably*
Me: "What's so funny?! Stop laughing! What's so FUNNY??"

Scenario 2:
Lydia: "Hi szeling, wake up"
Me: *gets out of bed and walks to hp* *images of rolling heads running through my mind* "okohnolatealreadybetterwakeupokbye"
FYI it's about 8.15am

Scenario 3:
Me: *sleeping* DANCING FISH
Royston:"What?!"
Me: *wakes up and is really pai seh*
Royston: "I knew it. You're a greedy pig. Even when you're sleeping you dream of food"'

And then there was the famous toenail dream.

SzeLing (</a></b></a>salt_water) wrote,
@ 2004-08-07 16:40:00

i think i've told everyone already. but then i shall just blog about it anyway.

The day before yesterday, i dreamt that all my toenails fell out. *ahem*

ok dont yell "airhead" at me, but it really was quite traumatic. i dreamt that my toes were deformed and then i peeled out one toenail and there was a welt and pus underneath. then i wanted to put it back but then the nail didnt fit anymore. plus it was so painful and then i wanted to go to SGH. my mum came into the room at this point and woke me up..and the first thing i said to her was "mum..how to go to SGH??" haha. then i grabbed my foot and YES! they were all there and not deformed.. my mum thought i was mad and then left. i breathed a huge sigh of relief and went back to sleep.

haha. quite funny right.

dawn called me later in the morning and then i told her about my dream. i was still feeling tearful (u know when u wake up and still have not recovered from being traumatised), and then she couldnt stop laughing. haha. puts things back into perspective. *grin*

Quite funny. I do some really stupid things some times.

There was something else i wanted to blog about but cannot remember now. Zz. So sian.

Angry.

2007-04-30T06:35:12Z

Sometimes the most careless remarks just gets the better of you.

I am going to dress up my bloody car cos i just cannot take it.

Body Kit Rims Foggies Headlights Other Rubbish accessories	$600 $600 $130 $400 $300
Total	$2030

Results:
- Point Proven (most impt of all)
- **May** get noticed and complimented, but then again, may still be passed over
- I will no longer drive what has been described as a UFO
- Bro will drive car and i'll feel sian
- No money to spend on more important things (i.e. clothes and shoes)

Anyway, i'm not going to my beloved EU anymore. Might as well use the money and prove some other point.
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Or i could just get over myself. But since i cannot, I shall prepare to start to swipe Creddie again..

Oh btw.. Here's Creddie, my best buddy since i was 17.

for lack of something better to do..

2007-04-29T16:20:44Z

"I YELLED AT A SPOON BECAUSE I'M SEXY"

Royston's: I loved a mon(g)ster because someone offered me1,000,000 dollars

sheesh.oh well. There u go. LOL.

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Pick the month you were born on:

January--i danced with
February--i loved
March--i choked on
April--i licked
May-- i kicked
June--i murdered
July--i sang to
August--i had lunch with
September--i ran over
October--i smoked
November--i yelled at
December--i kissed

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1-------a paperclip
2-------a gangster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a monster
6-------a mexican
7-------a llama
8-------a banana
9-------myself
10-------my neighbor
11-------an ipod
12-------my dog
13-------chuck norris
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------my best friends boyfriend
20-------a football player
21-------a permanent marker
22-------my boyfriend tounge
23-------a noodle
24-------my girlfriend
25-------a baseball bat
26-------my sister
27-------a cd
28-------my science teacher
29-------a thorn bush
30-------my cell phone
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are
wearing:

White------Because im sexy
Black-------Because im a ninja.
Pink--------Because im homosexual.
Red---------Because i love her.
Blue--------Because the voices told me
to
Green------Because I hate myself.
Purple------because im an ass
Gray--------Because im drunk as hell
Yellow------Because someone offered me
1,000,000 dollars
Orange----Because i hate my family.
Other-------Because that's how I roll.

salt_water @ 2007-04-24T11:21:00

2007-04-24T03:25:23Z

To my dearest Bro:

I HATE YOU. But anyway, here's the video of muffin. Sorry it's so dark.. I dunoe how to edit it.

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I am LIBERATED! MY HORMONES HAVE LEFT ME! Last week was hormonal week and this week is a good week. Hate this time of the month. BLOODY HORMONES.

Still alive

2007-04-23T09:02:53Z

Ah. It's been ages since my last post. I keep telling myself to update but then i get to lazy to upload my pictures. and who wants to read a boring blog entry with no pictures right?

You know recently, after a bout of blog hopping, i have decided there are far FAR far too many tortured souls and angsty individuals out there. Blog entries that hint so strongly that the blogger is about to die of depression. And i just find it so meaningless. If you're depressed, just bloody say it. Why do you have to say things like... "i'm drowning... and i wonder if anybody notices" or "I have withdrawn into my own world where it's so cold and lonely". DUH. Talk about attention seeking. I always believe that if you say things like that, you're dying for people to ask you what's wrong. So why not just take the first step, call a buddy and have a good bitch. What's this thing about acting the tortured soul.

Ok. I think i'm going off to the deep end again. But yes. That's the end of depressing blog entries for me. All blog entries shall be happy and pleasing to the eye. Hurrah!

So anyway, exams ended 2 weeks ago and i'm well rested enough to tackle another semester. Which happens to start tmr. Bloody school that is so stingy with term breaks.

So, some snippets of my life during these 2 weeks.

My woefully neglected bed. I should spend more time with it. It's getting a bit dusty.

Launch of Arsenal fan club. And me, the fake Arsenal supporter! They had free food that day! heeeheee.

One and only clubbing trip to St James since bloody exams ended. I'm a sad deprived creature.

Other than that, my life has been too banal for words. zz.

Came across this picture of my bro:

Lazy shit. hahaa. Always sprawled all over hotel beds like that... Here's a picture of your cat cos i know you miss him more than me.

Random Thought 1:

THE BANE OF MY LIFE. bloody parking summons. This month's has amounted to $130, not inclusive of all other amounts of money spent on parking. I dont understand why these aunties can't just slack off a bit. Go have a cup of kopi and leave my car alone. NBCB.

Random Thought 2:

What an apt name cos they're selling frozen food to busy individuals who have no time to cook. BO ENG indeed. =D

Okie... Till next time, when i'm feeling more interesting.. toodloo-loo~!

Exams

2007-03-30T18:03:06Z

8 more hours to go before my first paper.

Feeling very very brain dead. Been reading this bloody paragraph on Oxidative Phosporylation for the past half and hour... It still doesnt make any sense.

I am so screwed.

19 March 2007

2007-03-27T03:49:16Z

19 March 2007 has come and gone. Really, it seems like just yesterday that Royston was just the boy that i sometimes see at the bus stop, wearing his cap, staring at people.

But it has been 2 years. The response i usually get to that is either "Only??" or "Already??".. Which kinda sums it up. Feels like just yesterday that we got together, but it also feels like it's been forever. Cannot imagine life now without your melodious farts/burps. HAHA. Love ya, my darling!

Bintan (16 - 18 Mar)

Nothing quite like a warm, sandy (clean) beach...

Drinks to go at a seaside pub...

Lotsa love and hugs...

And throw in some Mastermind for a bit of brainwork and excitement!

"Darling...give your grumpiest look!"

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Oh..and last friday, Lydia and I decided that we wanted to buy doughnuts from this new doughnut place at Raffles City. We reached at about 6.15.... and queued till about 9pm. No you didnt see it wrong. We queued for nearly 3 hours for friggin' doughnuts. Don't tell me i'm insane. I feel dumb enough.

Looks yummy? Well.. they're not too bad. But just in case you're wondering, it wasnt worth the 3 hour wait. Duh. I dont think any damn doughnut is actually worth it. Oh well.

Oh.. and i made the previous entry Private (i.e for My eyes only). Decided i was being too polically incorrect.

and check out the following clip. it's HILARIOUS. Hur.

Colour Quiz

2007-03-14T02:39:42Z

Free personality analysis of SzeLing.
Generated on Tue Mar 13 19:39:42 2007.

SzeLing's Existing Situation

Sensuous. Inclined to luxuriate in things which give gratification to the senses, but rejects anything tasteless, vulgar, or coarse.

SzeLing's Stress Sources

Wishes to be independent, unhampered, and free from any limitation or restriction, other than those which she imposes of herself or by her own choice and decision.

SzeLing's Restrained Characteristics

Relationships rarely measure up to her high emotional expectations and her need to be made the center of things, leading to disappointment . Always has mental reservations and tends to remain emotionally isolated and unattached.

Feels that she is burdened with more than her fair share of problems. However, she sticks to her goals and tries to overcome her difficulties by being flexible and accommodating.

SzeLing's Desired Objective

Shelves her ambitions and forgoes her desire for prestige as she prefers to take things easily and indulge her longing for comfort and security.

SzeLing's Actual Problem

Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts.

Take the ColorQuiz yourself right now!

Hmm. Just in case the link above doesnt work, here's the link. http://www.colorquiz.com/

Interesting. But the previous one i did seems more detailed. Still, something ti pass time. What do you think?

Still Alive

2007-03-11T14:49:04Z

Apologies for the lack of updates. Just for the record, i'm still alive. I've actually been waiting for my CNY pics but they never came, so i shall just not bother.

Life's been boring of late. Exams are coming up faster than you can say "EXAMS!". Haha. So yes, i've been trying to mugg but somehow my heart just ain't innit. I'm more interested in Harry Potter.

Speaking of which, i cannot wait for the final book to come out. It's such a loooong way away. July 21 or thereabouts. Can't remember the exact date. That's like 3 mths away! By the time it's released my next exams will be here already la. zz.

What have i been doing of late? When i think about the past 2 weeks i only recall driving a lot. I seem to be ahmad-ing a lot of people around these days. Drive drive drive.

Ah. Sorry. Just small inconsequential bits of my life, and some other random thoughts. Just thought i'd post an entry before my blog gets dusty. Till next time when i'm feel more interesting...bye!

Lunar Greetings!

2007-02-21T06:21:28Z

Happy Pig Pig Year, my friends!

Gong Hei Fatt Choy!! Hope this year will be prosperous and filled with love and happiness. For all that are still studying, Xue Ye Jin Bu, for those who are working, Nian Nian You Yu! Yay!

I love CNY. I get to wear nice nice and go round to collect money.

~ GONG XI GONG XI GONG XI NI AH!! GONG XI GONG XI GONG XI NI!! GONG XI GONG XI GONG XI NI AH!! GONG XI GONG XI GONG XI Niiiiiiiiii !!!! ~

It's the year of the Fire Pig. (Read: Year of Roasted Pork). Szeling's fengshui reading for this year says this year, many people will eat suckling pigs and roasted pork, leading to a general decrease in the population of pigs. This will lead to a general rise in blood pressure and high obesity count amongst humans. All humans should therefore watch their diet and remember. The key to everything is Moderation.

Also, everybody will get rich this year. HUAT AH!

yay.

salt_water @ 2007-02-20T12:08:00

2007-02-20T04:09:34Z

You are a Super Hawaiian Supreme Pizza!
Life is about the sun, the beaches, the breeze and lots of fun! Relaxed and laid-back, you lead a carefree lifestyle where problems are never too big to make you frown. Your warm and friendly disposition makes you a very approachable person. Share this pizza with your friends and spread the sunny joy!

Which type of Supreme Pizza are you?
Brought to you by Pizza Hut

I wannna have pizzaaaaaaaa......

Valentine's Day

2007-02-15T10:14:53Z

Roy registered for UniSIM yesterday.... SIM looks so much more like a proper university.. either that, or MDIS is just chingchong to the max. Unlike myself, Roy is really excited to start school again. I, on the other hand, have to drag myself to class almost everyday. It's really such a pain in the ass to have to crawl to school and sit there for another 3 hours and stone. As if i don't stone enough in the office. bleap.

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FINALLY, the season of free money is here! CNY's just around the corner. Woohoo! i bought a cheongsam from Chinatown this year. It's hellava tight and i'm actually kinda afraid it might burst if i move around too much. It's black and gold and really very very nice. I just have to disregard the fact that i can barely breathe when i put it on, and it'll be perfect. Since when was breathing more important than beauty anyway. Chey.
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On another note, I have finally succumbed to the Valentine's Day bug and joined the ranks of the smug marrieds. Don't discriminate. It's the first time I've actually had a proper Valentines, complete with Romantic Dinner and Red Rose(s). No teddy bears though. Haha.

Roy brought me to this restaurant near Botanical Gardens. Since my boyfriend is not exactly the most romantic or thoughtful person in the world, it came very much as a surprise that he had made a reservation beforehand and actually done his research on what food would be served and where exactly it is. More so becuase the place was actually very pretty, not very cliched and not very crowded. =D

(p/s Stolen pictures from website again. haha.)

The Wine Company @ Evans

Just for the record.. this place does serve food. And ironically, we didnt have any wine.

The glass wall seperated the dining area and the chiller room where all the wine is kept. Very modern, very chic.

In contrast, the place actually possess a very old school, colonial charm. The flooring is mosaic but with expensive thick thick rugs so it doesnt look too chingchong.

Best part of the dinner.. was definitely, well, the dinner. Haha. I'm sorry it's so cliched but we both had the Valentine's Set.. and it consisted of the following.

Love is in the air
14 Feb 2007

We celebrate valentine's day specially for you with a complimentary glass of sparkling JC Le Roux Pongracz. Our way to show that we still have time to stop and smell the rose.

Appetiser
foie gras in balsamic reduction

Soup
cream of procini mushroom

Mains
cod fish in pureed green pea
& baked baby onions & ham in red wine sauce

grilled tenderloin with potatoes gratin
& sauteed pea shoots in rosemary juice

Dessert
the wine company
chocolate molten lava cake

tea & coffee service

OMG. Foie Gras! Mushroom Soup! Steak/Codfish! Molten chocolate cake!!

Tell me now... What's there not to love. This menu was made with SZELING in mind. haha. Everything was yummy, especially the cake. It's the kind of cake that oozes melted chocolate the minute you dip your spoon in, the kind of cake that's so sinfully shiok. MY kind of cake. =)

There's a cute little ladybird on top of the icecream too. Heeheehee.

Dinner even comes with a complimentary rose for the lady.

In return, i bought Royston lunch at Ikea. Ain't I romantic too?? haha.
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I love you, my darling. Thank you for the wonderful night. You don't know how much i appreciate your effort, time and love.
xoxo

Random Pictures

2007-01-29T06:10:14Z

I got back my results for my first semester. Got an A for Operations Management and a B for Marketing. Not too shabby. Am actually quite proud of myself. =) Can only hope to better it this semester, but at the rate i'm going, i see nothing but 'F's. Still... Never too late to start mugging. I'm actually motivated to study! But of course, my life is still filled with neverending, time-wasting, uneventful events.. So i'm still trying to find the time and discipline to start doing so.

Random Pictures:

Headed down to St James last week with Qi and Lydia...

Wynn's birthday some time back... Also at St James

Happy Birthday babes!!

Met up with Jem who poisoned me with some absinthe

Sunset along the hustle and bustle of the PIE

And my favourite picture of all.

=- I love my frowny fat fart =-

:)

Out with the old... In with the new!

2007-01-15T02:14:35Z

Today is a good day. I had sufficient hours of sleep, came (sneaked) into the office grossly late, drove to work (YES! FINALLY!) and best of all, i'm having a good hair day/good face day.

I have therefore decided that i am not going to be morose, depressed and tunnel-minded ANYMORE! i'm going to go back to being happy, taking things as they come, plodding along a day at a time, yet all the time planning for hte future ahead.

YAY! I am LIBERATED!

I love good hair days!

eyes wide open

2007-01-11T19:21:44Z

Questions of self worth are so hard to deal with when you cannot get to sleep because you have too much caffeine running through your veins.

When oh when, will i ever learn not to drink teh-o in the middle of the night?

DRAT.

2007: Resolutions

2007-01-03T02:49:58Z

Ok. The new year came.... and went. Nothing happened. No fireworks this year. Just a quiet one spent tagging along with another couple.

So. Resolutions for 2007. (For traditions' sake):

1. Get a Life and stop feeling permanently bored.
2. Actually study instead and concentrate. And start early
3. Stop friggin' nagging
4. Get over myself

ok. that's it. I think that about sums up everything. I'm so GODDAMN sleepy i could kill myself now. Then i will permanently be in a horizontal position.

Oh wait. I think that's a bit inauspicious since its a brand new year. Ok. And anyway, see above (Resolutions No.1 and No.4). So yes.

Happy New Year my dear friends. I love all of you.

waiting.

2006-12-15T21:13:40Z

Patience is the greatest virtue that i will always seek to achieve.

Am i living in delusion or reality? I can't seem to differentiate them anymore.

I keep wondering.. Everytime i reach my breaking point... What holds me back from the next course of action. When all the signs just point in 1 direction. Just throw in the towel, dammit. Admit defeat and move on.

Do I tell myself that i am stuck in the proverbial rut and need to get myself out of it? Or do i tell myself to wait and see, to be patient and understanding, to calm down and think rationally, that he's not mean, i'm just too demanding?

Does being rational equate to being delusional? Which is which?

I'm going crazy. I cant seem to reign in my emotions or tears, my hurt or anger, my elation and fear. My neurosis is creeping up on me, my insecurities are all coming back.

And it all boils down to the same question.. the same one that i've been asking myself for years and years. The one that leaves me with so many questions unanswered, the question that overwhelms me and drowns me.

I think i am back on my emotional roller coaster.

....."Why am I never good enough?"......